DAN HAYGEMAN, of ConverseNet, Inc. in Spokane (and formerly of Bellingham) presented a model and suggestions for helping people do “what is most important to them.” Understanding and being attentive to their moods, can be particularly helpful in these times of change and upset.
We watched Dan, who had his hair cut especially for the presentation, in front of a Zoom Screen of his hair idols: the Beatles (George and John). He claimed, in the words of one of his mentors, Eric Hoffer, that in times of chaotic change, mood is everything; it is the only thing. Without the right mood, we’re not having the right conversations.
Additionally, he claims, as does Hoffer, that learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
In a two x three table, he showed how underlying dimensions of resisting/accepting and assessments of various situations (fixed, includes possibilities, is uncertain) determine people’s moods. With acceptance, people will feel peace, ambition, or wonder. With resistance, people will feel resentment, resignation, or anxiety. An example he used from his own life involved him initially resenting his mother, who was living and complaining a lot about her residence in deluxe assisted living facility. By accepting his mother’s complaining rather than trying to change her attitude, he found opportunities for many pleasant conversations with his mother emerged. Similarly, when dealing with situational uncertainty, accepting the situation leads to feelings of adventure or wonder, whereas resisting the uncertainty leads to anxiety.
Haygeman recommended shifting our mindsets from resistance to acceptance as a way to experience more peace and less resentment in our lives. He noted this is something that requires practice, practice, practice. Journaling and conversations with others are two ways he recommended for adjusting mindsets.
He noted that physical (not just mental) interventions can work too, including activities like basic exercise, breathing deeply, sleeping well, and eating a healthy diet.
He offered his email address for those who might want to connect with him later. Dan@conversenet.com
